Muddiest area

I know my muddiest part is going to be the first paragraph, in making sure that I get the thesis correct. I am never really sure where to start on these things, sometimes I believe I can just jot and go on, but then when I read it back to myself it does not sound correct. I have to also come up with some sort of subject that will be able to fill all the required things listed on the assignment sheet. I am sure something will pop in my head soon.
The high fiving is another subject, I can end any story and be very glad it is over with. In conclusions, a person can just recount what they have already talked about and be done. That is what I look forward to is being done with something, correct and on time.

Garden of eden, bread

The writer of "A morsel from the Garden of Eden" does provide an insightful introduction that grabs the readers attention while sticking to the basics of the storty at hand.

The sensory details are very funny, I was well able to visualize, and relate to all the things happening in the story (one particular person comes to mind with this story).

The old man's conversations which are included help add to the story in very good detail, placing a person at the scene.

A person reading this story can see how the writer's life is impacted with this event; I think we all have someone like the old man in the story placed in our lives.

The conclusion is great, I can picture a stubborn person ignore all dangers to get what they hoped for!

E. B. White essay

The writer does provide somewhat of an introduction that is attention grabbing, but I believe the first paragraph is too long for an opening.

White does focus on the major points of the essay that are relevant but does cover a few areas that are about his life story too.

His descriptions of the lake and all it entails are very deep to read, nearly pulling the reader into the environment itself.

He has no quotes or speeches, but does relate his experience to when he was growing up and with an eerie feeling he felt as though time had not elapsed.

In the way White had described family vacations, I could relate to wanting the same experiences for my children when we visit old familiar spots.

He kept his essay to the point and did not add fillers to his story. He tied the people and places together that were relevant to the essay.

I smiled at the ending where this father could relate to the physical pain of pulling up cold britches. It was a good way to conclude this story of reliving a family tradition.

Investigation questions of Sadaris

The begining paragraph is not grabbing at me, but because of my relating to the subject of entering school at an older age, it caused me to read on.

The writer does focus on a few events and does not try to relive his entire life on paper.

The detail and sensory descriptions do help to really dislike the French teacher, and to sympathize with the abused students.

The writer has given very good quotes from the teacher to help the reader feel his pain in this class.

With giving some flash-backs into his New York trip, some people may be able to understand some of the things the writer tells about remembering when.

The writer reveals that he is now understanding more than he first thought possible and how this class has taught him how to study an hear the language.

The writer's last sentence is a good conclusion since he can now use French to tell the teacher his wishes.

Gale

Sam got in her car. She drove to the mall. She went to the shoe store. She bought a pair of boots. She bought a shoeshine kit. Sam went to the food court. She bought a burrito. The burrito had onions and peppers on it. Sam ate the burrito. Sam saw a cute boy. He was at the pretzel stand. The boy looked at Sam. Sam blushed. The boy walked over to Sam. Sam said hi. The boy wrinkled up his nose. Sam was confused. Sam said hi again. The boy gagged. The boy walked away. Sam was shocked. Sam realized she had bad breath. Sam ran to the bathroom. Sam cried. She put on her new boots. She shined her new boots. Sam walked out of the bathroom. Sam was confident. Sam found the boy. Sam told him he needed manners. Sam kicked him. She used her new boots. The boy fell to the ground. Sam walked away. Sam walked out of the mall.

Sam go in her car and drove to the mall.  She bought a pair of boots at the shoe store alng with a shoeshine kit.  Same then went to the food court and bought a burrito with onions and peppers on it, then she ate it. She saw a cute boy at the pretzel stand and he looked at her so she blushed. He walked over to Sam and she said hi. He wrinkled up his nose, confusing Sam so she said hi again and he gagged. The boy walked away and Sam was shocked realizing she had bad breath. She ran to the bathroom and cried. She put on her new boots and shined them, then walked out of the bathroom confidently.  Sam found the boy and told him he needed manners while kicking him with her new boots. The boy fell to the ground as Sam walked away and out of the mall.

 

Gale

My strengths and weaknesses

    After reading the fascinating section II in the Elements of Style, I see I have more than one area that can be considered my weak spot in writing. That being said, I will only focus on the harder point for this blog.
    I believe that rule number 20 is a good place for me to analyze since many of my sentences have the appearance of misleading a reader in what I hope to make clear. Rule 20 is "Keeping related words together."
Though some of the examples in the book are clear with where the mistakes are, much of my writing is less obvious and therefore, take vast amounts of reading to make sure they are direct in their description and direction. It is easy to mess up keeping words together since any one sentence can be reworded in another way and mean entirely something else.
    Because of having to mull over my sentences numerous times, I am strong in keeping needless words out most of my sentences (rule # 17). I read them over several times out loud to listen for those shortcuts and will in the future, make sure that I listen for keeping my related words together.

Self assessment

My writing assignment is to summarize the essay "On keeping a notebook" by Joan Didion.
I am describing in a summary over a woman who analizes why she  keeps a notebook.
Thesis is over her sharing her experiences and thoughts over keeping a notebook.
The audience for this wirtten work is my teacher and fellow classmates.
I've read the material and then jotted down notes about the points I feel describe the essay.
I've made 2 drafts.
I have put in about 6 hours on this summary.
So far no outside assistance.
Not sure how to record revisions, just making sure things make sense.
Watching the quotes as best as possible.
Concerns ar that it is correct.
Because I keep a notebook, gives different insight to why people keep one.